The fast life: off the field

My very good friend posted this interesting note the other day about athletes and marriage:

OK! As many of you know, I am a massive sports nut. If it has been on TV in the last calendar year, I've watched it. I'm talking everything from curling to wakeboarding. That being said, I have allegiance to three sports. Football, baseball, and golf. I get more enjoyment out of watching these three than ANY other sports. It just so happens that they are the three sports I've been successful at in my own life. I will be a professional golfer within the next year or two, so I feel qualified to speak on a couple of subjects.

First, Tiger Woods. I have been following Tiger's every move since I first signed up to play competitive golf in April of 1997. Coincidentally, my first rules seminar was on the day that Tiger won his first Masters by a record 12 shots. Ever since then, I have been modeling my game after the best in the world, trying to incorporate a little bit from all the world class players and put it into my own game. I also admired the way Tiger conducted himself off the course, as he became the first athlete to earn $1 billion dollars. Primarily though, my focus has been, and always will be, how he plays the game of golf.

I'm sure everyone noticed that Tiger has gone through some things recently, most notably, his pending divorce from his wife, Elin, and a reported $750 million settlement. While that is a LOT of money that all of us wish we had, for Tiger, and what he's capable of earning, it's essentially a drop in the bucket. Once this divorce is finalized, he can FULLY concentrate on golf and the rest of his business ventures. He still has major endorsements with Nike and EA Sports, plus once he starts to win again, the rest of the endorsements will come rolling back in. Corporate America loves to be associated with winners. Kobe did the same thing Tiger did, and he's doing pretty well for himself right now, with the exception that he kept his wife. Once Kobe got back on the basketball court, and showed people that he was the best player in the world, his endorsements, AND his earning potential got back to where it was, and then some. Tiger is NOT hurting for money people. He has the aforementioned endorsements, and a budding golf course design business. Factor in that he is 34 years old, in the prime of his career, and is capable of earning tens of millions of dollars per year WELL into his late 40s-early 50s, then it's easy to see that while this is a difficult time for him, he WILL get over it. Quickly. Elin meanwhile, can do whatever she wants to do for the rest of her life, having done absolutely nothing except being the best mother and wife she could be. What Tiger did was wrong, but I feel as if he shouldn't have put himself into that position in the first place. Which brings me to my next point...

Professional athletes are the envy of people everywhere. They play games in front of thousands of people, on the best conditions, against the toughest competition, have countless people waiting on their every move, and get paid millions of dollars for playing games that people play all over the world everyday. With this fame and fortune, however, comes a price. Your life is not your own, you are recognized EVERYWHERE you go, and with the modern era of information, everyone knows how much money you make. You're taxed more than anyone else, and you have to pay your entire entourage that you have to have in order to allow you to focus exclusively on your sport. You have to pay your agent, chef, nutritionist, personal trainer, business manager, driver, pilot (if you have one), PR person, plus any other person that provides a service that you feel you need. With ALL of this going on around you, which athlete legitimately has time to find a significant other and build a successful relationship with them? Unless you have a significant other that you've been with BEFORE all of the fame and fortune, my best advice to pro athletes would be to not get MARRIED until after you retire from competition, however long that may be. I can go online and see that Joe Johnson of the Hawks looks like he is about to sign a 6 year, $119 million dollar deal (in addition to the $70M he's already earned from the Hawks), or that Peyton Manning of the Indianpolis Colts is in the last year of the 7 year, $99 million dollar extension that he signed in 2004. Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez signed a 10 year, $275 million dollar deal after the 2007 season (He opted out of a 10 year, $252 million deal he signed with the Texas Rangers in the early 2000s). I can look at the career earnings list on the PGA Tour's website and see who has made the most money in their careers. I can look at that, you can look at that, and all the woman that want to make a professional athlete theirs can look at that. I have heard on more that one occasion women say, 'I'mma find me a football player to take care of me.' or 'Girl, I need to find me an athlete. They got hella money.' As an athlete, knowing there is so much, for lack of a better phrase, 'free pickings' when you go on the road for games or meetings, or vacation, WHY would you even put yourself in a position where you have to ask yourself 'Should I do this? Wifey's at home in DC, I'm all the way out here in San Francisco...aight, I'll smash, she'll never find out.' NO!!!!! NO!! NO! NO! Don't even PUT yourself in that box, cause you've seen what can happen from the Tiger Woods story. Temptation is too great, and it's too readily available. No one will say anything if you're rich, single, and taking advantage of all of the things that are placed before you. If you're married though, people WILL find out, and then you'll get a messy situation like my boy Tiger has upon his hands. Once you retire to a place, and are not on the road over half the year, THAT is the time to find someone to settle down with, if you can find the right person that loves you for you, and not for your bank accounts. Athletes everywhere, from the four major American sports (NFL, MLB, NBA, NHL), PGA Tour pros, world-class soccer players, and any other well-paid athlete should take heed.

This is my response. Mind you, it's very possible i'm addressing a slightly different issue than his note, but you be the judge. also feel free to comment we'd both appreciate it

All that would make it easier, but consider what you said. Tiger can play at 40! what if Brett Favre waited til his career was over to find a wife? he be gettin married at like 60! what about kids? who can chase a 2 yr old at 60? not even Deion. i do agree about the temptations makin it extremely difficult (nearly impossible) to be faithful, but i think the career of a person should not put a stop sign on marriage. First of all, it doesn't take an athlete to get a gold digger. Any one that can flash a fat wad of money can get all the chicks they want. Many careers have far more demanding hours than athletes. also if you wait til after the fact aren't you still famous? i bet hoes still want Jerry Rice, or Deion, or even Jason Sehorn. all they gotta do is flash a ring (or a money roll).
there are three things that are important in marriage. First of all, maturity is key. Most marriages aren't taken seriously enough thus all the divorces. There are many happily married athletes who don't find it impossible to resist temptaions. second, BE IN LOVE. it can't just be her stunning looks because you REALLY have to deal with her for a LONG time or PAY the consequences when it doesn't work out. third is honestly for the ladies, and also has to do w/ the second; FORGIVENESS. how many people think their parents were happy all their relationship. there have often been a cheek turned (think the bible plz) when transgression of the relationship happen, and this leads to the longevity of the relationships we've been lucky to grow up around (if that's so true). the point is you can't wait for your career to be over to think you're ready for a relationship, you just have to wait until you are mature enough to handle the situation. maybe easier said than done, but if you don't handle relationships with real maturity, you'll fail no matter what.